I wonder if she is happy but wearing herself out.  She looks like she aged a lot.  Did she really want this?  I guess.  Too bad it just affected me negatively.

(continued)

I mean, why not other generations?  Why is this one in the way?

Why did the Late Boom generation or some of them live life like they are a baby or youngest person and the Generation X kids of Early Boomers and before live like they are older than them when they are just innocent, sweet, little kids?  I just feel shame for being teased.  I know some things are inappropriate.  I mean, Late Boomers get important things we never get, too, and it's not our fault.  That's like a baby crying for its mom.  No one cares if you get "the" experience that Late Boomers are a joke on Generation X.  I know I can act like a Late Boomer, but then there are connections I don't have.

It's like I'm always getting a negative side to the relationship, it sorta outweighs the quantity otherwise.  So, it's up.

It's nice the older lady I know gets to experience love, like this.

Anyway, in ways that are not good, what do you make of how at first she was my friend and people found out and a lot of them always think about her, at least here in the Orlando area.  I was thinking keep counting and one more thought of her probably "gets to her head."  People are just "using" me.  A lot of people don't really care for me, but in reality I'm not a weirdo.  

Here is about when it started, after Hillary lost the Presidential Election of the USA:

Didn't you just say, "People don't matter?"

Why is everyone always on about that older lady?  It made her not like me, sometimes, I think she seemed to feel, if she had such wonderings, all of a sudden. such about me for some reason!

Wait...

...am I just incubating myself?

I mean, on a normal blog, I said I was eating to get better and replenish myself.  That can't be!  What do you expect of me?

(continued)

like an obvious waste of my time, in some way

Is my life become a slow worship of others.  I'm tired of waiting for things my whole life, it's like I'm just dying like I'm just shit to everyone!

I have the right to hate.  I don't appreciate shit about my reputation.  People blame their faults on me.

I figured out what was wrong with me.

It's to not be about me like it should in some way "instead" and not just as a flailing idea.

They suddenly said I was not good enough and used it to prove something about the older lady I like, who is more my relationship, but I'm younger than them.

Well, my life is messed up starting to do with other people bothering me.

I wonder if the older lady has a hard life now that she knows me, but it looks like she has before, too.

True, she seems happy, now.  Supposedly, she was also happy before, but it seems she is happier now.

True, my life seems less happy though I'm happier she's in it, a happier part.  It's not because of people being mean to me, I just feel unhappy, like I grew older or stopped exercising or something.

What do you mean everyone has to have my relationship?  How did you think you were going to do that?  It's called a number, and I'm in it.

They want to take away what I have that is better than them.

Even if life sucks for you, it's at least partially sucking for me.  Some people bring bad things upon themselves and want to bring others down.  They want to take away their accomplishments and anything they had.  They want to say there's a problem, like I'm not good enough in ways they know is not my fault.  They attack me for immorality and lose.

but they're sure I'm in that much trouble

I was being accused by bad people and people say well maybe that was wrong, and then it's too late.

I'm suspicious of my problems, if they came from people involved monitoring me in private and behind my back and not just some strangers I both reported on 2 buses in a row this week.

I'm not here to translate all your problems with me.

I'm led to wonder if something is not right.

It seems people act like things are normal but behind my back I'm in trouble, like I have an attitude on the inside.  Well, duh, so do you, except yours is on the outside.

I think some people are being silly...  Good thing I'm not there now.

I'm glad the older lady I like is happy now, but why not before?

Things related to an older lady I like keep being taken from me and maybe not given back.

I'm being judged like I'm bad, and, in my glory, I don't go with it, like other people.

Someone or some people want to make sure I don't feel good ... for now ... and I ended up messed up in some way and bossed around.  They turned on me and suddenly snapped, like they have to listen to older people I know who are mean to me.

So, they keep going back and forth between that they are doing the best they can and that they planned it to punish me.

So, then, it might be a joke?  The miserable way things have been with my relationships?  The idea that I don't have a future.

It seems they are just stalling for time, maybe not really socializing with me.  I try to focus and they "butt in," too, sorta.

They want me to feel selfish about someone liking me, like it's a chore for people to do that, when it's not, especially with their children.