Sunday, December 9, 2018

It said to try again later.
I'm going to see if I can contact Facebook to see about why people abuse the Block feature...
I do agree a lot of people are not at par in life and not on the right rapport, but I was, just accept that schools are not ideal.  I try to be nice, but people keep being mean to me.
I mean it's okay to react, but it sorta ruined my life.
I want to be invincible to them, and I feel reshaped in my body from them, they got ticked I did something at a certain time in my mind, said something in my mind this time.
I get hurt in ways that would matter for others.
More?  They seem to think I am going along, too.
They don't want me to talk about things like this, but they manipulated my life.  I have to socialize or ignore them.  It seems they are just taking all my relationships and feelings being okay, though, like no one notices it.
You can do what you want, but I do what I want.  No agreement seems to be known, in a way.  I'm not mean.  It seems I have to change my life to be stable.
I do something and get told I am not impressive.
They did it.  They are botehering me more/still.

(continued)

They think I am in trouble.
So, I'm being told to shape up and the older lady is tested against me.  Unnecessary by fate.
I thought it was a deal.  They felt hurt but were already out to get me.
They are exploiting an older lady I like for no good reason and I didn't really do anything mean.  I've been going along, but this is just wrong.  I'm worried.
Someone was so pissed off they think I can never feel okay, always a little tortured or very tormented.
I am never allowed to be sorry.  They ruin my life, and I wasn't even really mean... but yea they were or I was hurt.
Is it because of the weird part in an e-mail?  How far does this go?  I know I was insulted, first.
Am I wasting my time?

What am I getting out of this?
They are trying to hurt me forever.
I'm being constantly abused for my dad's birth year.
They are mad at me for something I said that I thought was okay, for all this.  I feel uncomfortable saying this, but that's all I am saying, in this now.

They keep annoying me.  I already had to reject the older lady I like in my mind in some way for them constantly making her say bad things or the idea that she does.  This doesn't make sense.  They know what I thought, too, and do things.

I am nice, and then people are mean to me.  They just treat me badly for not being perfect.
What if my dad did this?

Also, they keep "talking back" at me or whatever, like "it's their job."
How about how it's "because" of fate me being punished?  I know you think I'm in trouble.  I feel the agreement is harsh and in some ways things might not be kept.  The world isn't fair, anyway.  It's not a simple thing, some things might not be kept.  I might simply be judged for being mixed race.
I cannot tell you how mad I am they made the older lady I like and know famous, just to steal my relationship with her.  I don't know what to do sometimes in my life.
They are trying to continue to exploit the older lady I like instead of me having the private relationship.  She replaced my fame, instead.
They'll be the judge of prolonging this bargain before I alert the police.  The thing is they are positive.
What did I say wrong?
I feel I played their little game and they took advantage of me.

They punish me via someone else's supposed, innocent judgments to ruin my life.  They tell me if I don't seem poised or if they think I'm rebelling and slice into my private life.
I want whatever I was supposed to have?  I mean, say there was a reason.  I still have to live my life.  Why did the people involved monitoring me in private do this?  Who wants to do this?  The bad people are making the difference.
There's no promise of you ... stopping?
Everyone keeps following me just to punish me.
They make up rules for if they think I think off, but I don't.
They said that they ask people to boss me around and it was announced I can't really have something anymore, with my friendship with the older lady I like and like it was just nothing.

I'm being bossed around by idiots at age 32 like I'm a kid being told what to do.
I try to do things, and people gape at me.
Your choice.
They are acting like they are all that and I'm shit.
They are being too mean to me when I was upset by others.
They keep saying the older lady I like is hurting me, like testing me and we still have a chance.
They keep saying I'm nothing like they found out, and they said maybe they were helping me fix whatever problems I got.
This is stupid, they are dishonest.
To waste my time.  They threatened me, when I was even nice.  They are just out to get me.  They constantly make me feel uncomfortable.  I hope I get out of this now.
They are testing me to post more.
They won't stop.
Like my relationship.  All these people think they get to know about it and it's weird.
They make more threats.
They won't stop!
I'm upset at how the people monitoring me in private destroy my life by bothering me in private and threatening to belittle that I look up to someone, the older lady.

I am super annoyed at them bargaining, annoying me, in little ways constantly.  I am not listening to people bossing me around, in general, neither, and am disgusted with their stupidity and carelessness with me!
They have threatened important things, like my relationship mainly, while the world leans forward and attends.
They won't stop.  They are all in my face and under my skin telling me I'm shit.
The people monitoring me in private are being ridiculous now.  Everyone thinks I want to be in their moment.  You are probably taking advantage of things I have in my life.  People still believe in this cause, in this way.  They keep bossing me around and controlling my important relationships.  I'm not being mean.  You all think I have to listen to you being mean and if I feel bad you take it too far.  You don't think I can do anything, anyway, but you still react to this stuff.  My life is trashed.  Someone is being nasty to me.  They just want to ruin my life.  This better get better.  They have grudges.  It's their fault, anyway.  They've punished me my whole life, when I was so good.  They think I was rebellious out of the womb.  When I try to feel okay, they make it worse.  I'm so annoyed.  I have to be myself.  Who cares if they are watching me and threaten me so... they aren't doing good like I won something in the end ever.  They are working for my dad.  What I saw was I sit here and time goes by and things can only get worse.  I don't want to have to worry about shit.  I am living like a normal person.  People are abusive and dishonest to me.  They are mean and weak, which seems like selfishness is prevailing, that they keep telling me now I'm "not all that" but an older lady I like is and traded places and gave her the dream rather than a better relationship in private.  They are testing me not to rebel.  I thought if I worked with them, things would be okay with my relationship.
The people monitoring me in private treat me like an animal in a cage, like they do everything, and I am forced to react.  I can still be a normal person.  I hope the same goes for the older lady I like.  People are suggesting someone wants her to be seen as a famous celebrity, a star, and that instead of what I was supposed to get with her.
This is all resting on someone I care about a lot, my guilt, like others think she is bad to be nice to me, like to just get whoever is closest if they hit home.
It wasn't the whole orchestra.  I was e-mailing and did mention the whole orchestra.

People here keep looking at me.

People are mean to me and I get punished if I am defensive.
My life feels more private, all of a sudden.  I feel more alone.

I think that orchestra is harboring revenge on me because after they were mean to me, I said something weird and didn't mean to be as mean.  That happens.
The orchestra I follow online every day suddenly blocked me on Facebook from answering.

I feel people have a grudge on me and think I should be killed.

It's like the people monitoring me in private are keeping me in their check, and they aren't perfect.  They are weak to public pressure.

People think my relationships were given to me and not real meet ups.
People made a mistake to say I was inappropriate like I was preventing someone from feeling as good as they deserved when they were exploited to be overly stimulated and forget about me, whereas before things were so good.  I was in the right, and now I'm struggling.  Sometimes, people are mean to me, and I get in trouble if I fight back.